Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The One with Aunt Flo...

Aunt Flo has finally made her debut!! I've never been more excited for her to arrive. We went back to the Doctor today and I was put on the first batch of medication. I think I have a totally of 7-9 pills to take every day. And this is only the beginning :) We go back next week Tuesday for the trial transfer. This is when they go in like they are going to do IVF, but don't actually implant an embryo. This is done so they can have a feel for the shape of my uterus and aren't met with any surprises on the actual transfer day. I can't believe how quickly things are going! I will also start the shot medications in a few weeks. That's when the real fun begins :) I've heard the first set of meds aren't too bad, and most women give them to themselves. We will see!

Emotionally, I go back and forth with my feelings about this whole IVF thing. Sometime I look in the mirror and can't believe I'm actually one of those people. And I don't mean that in a bad way. But honestly, when we were first married, or even when we first started trying, I remember hearing about women who went through IVF and feeling so bad for them. Like, "Oh, they had to do IVF? :/" I NEVER pictured myself as one of "those" people. AND NOW I AM! Let's just say, I will never look at conceiving a baby, or pregnancy the same way again. This has truly changed me as a person. I think in a lot of ways for the good, but also in someways I'm not too proud of. At times, I can and have definitely considered myself a bitter person. I HATE having the sad/negative feelings and thoughts that come with this. Facebook is the worst! Reading every complaint about how tired, sick, and uncomfortable they are, etc... I would love nothing more than to have morning sickness or heartburn, if it meant that a baby was growing inside of me. I feel like the past 2 years EVERYONE I know has announced that they are pregnant. It's hard having to answer the constant questions like, "when are you guys going to have kids?" or "how come you don't have kids yet?" or while playing or holding a friends kid, "that sure looks good on you!" Every friend of ours or acquaintance now has a kid or two, or three! I can go on and on and on about each and every emotion I have had these past two years, and I probably will share more on another post :) Mainly because I never want to forget this experience. It has been a life changing experience for not just me & Matt, but for our family.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

The One with The 1st appointment...

This week was our first appointment at the infertility specialist. I was extremely excited, yet a little bit nervous knowing we would be faced with a lot of overwhelming information and decisions. Our appointment was on Monday, November 14 at 3:30pm. When we got there, we waiting in the waiting room filling out paper work. Our doctor, Dr. Yee, came in to greet us and brought us back to his office. The first thing he said was, "You know your here to talk about IVF right?" He was extremely surprised that at I had had 3 ectopic pregnancies. He went over a lot of information we already know, like how the women anatomy is configured and what happened to my body each time I got pregnant compared to what should have happened. Basically, there are a few reasons they know of that can cause ectopics, but since I don't fall under any of those, my reasoning is unknown...except by God :)

Next, he went into how IVF works and all of the steps we will be going through. It takes only about 2 months from beginning to end. Crazy huh?! He told us that since the medication from my last ectopic was still in my system, we had to wait till I got my period, and then to call him once I get the NEXT period, then we could begin. That meaning, we could quite possibly be welcoming a baby into the world at this time next year! Such a crazy thought after everything we have been through the past 2 years.

Then, I had an ultrasound so he could check to make sure my uterus healthy...which thankfully it was. It was a nice change to be having an ultrasound for another reason than to find out the devastating news that I was pregnant with another, and yet another ectopic.

Finally, we have to decide 2 major decisions:
1. We met with someone to talk about the different IVF packages we could choose from...yes, packages. Such a strange thing. Basically, there are 3 packages that we can choose from. 1) one "fresh" try plus medication 2) two "fresh" tries and two "frozen" tires 3) three "fresh" and 3 "Frozen". So packages 2 & 3 are the best options in the case that it doesn't work the first time.
2. The other decision we have to make is to implant 1 or 2 embryos. Our Dr. said he would not put in more than 2, which we were in complete agreeance with. My first thought is, let's do 2! We will want more than one kid someday so why not get 2 for the price of one :) It would be double the blessings, double the fun, double the cuteness, and double the babies that we have been praying for for so long. But then I started thinking about the realities of 2. Double the sleepless nights, double the amount of baby stuff in our small house, double the craziness...for the rest of our life. I am not saying I wouldn't want twins. I think it would be an amazing blessing from God. And if God decided to bless us with twins, He never gives us anything we can't handle. I just want to be 100 percent okay with the chance of having twins, before we implant 2 embryos. I want to make sure we think about everything twins would mean for our lives...the good and the overwhelming.

So now it is just a waiting game. Waiting and praying for the one thing I used to dread every month...Aunt Flo.