Tuesday, December 20, 2011

The One with Aunt Flo...

Aunt Flo has finally made her debut!! I've never been more excited for her to arrive. We went back to the Doctor today and I was put on the first batch of medication. I think I have a totally of 7-9 pills to take every day. And this is only the beginning :) We go back next week Tuesday for the trial transfer. This is when they go in like they are going to do IVF, but don't actually implant an embryo. This is done so they can have a feel for the shape of my uterus and aren't met with any surprises on the actual transfer day. I can't believe how quickly things are going! I will also start the shot medications in a few weeks. That's when the real fun begins :) I've heard the first set of meds aren't too bad, and most women give them to themselves. We will see!

Emotionally, I go back and forth with my feelings about this whole IVF thing. Sometime I look in the mirror and can't believe I'm actually one of those people. And I don't mean that in a bad way. But honestly, when we were first married, or even when we first started trying, I remember hearing about women who went through IVF and feeling so bad for them. Like, "Oh, they had to do IVF? :/" I NEVER pictured myself as one of "those" people. AND NOW I AM! Let's just say, I will never look at conceiving a baby, or pregnancy the same way again. This has truly changed me as a person. I think in a lot of ways for the good, but also in someways I'm not too proud of. At times, I can and have definitely considered myself a bitter person. I HATE having the sad/negative feelings and thoughts that come with this. Facebook is the worst! Reading every complaint about how tired, sick, and uncomfortable they are, etc... I would love nothing more than to have morning sickness or heartburn, if it meant that a baby was growing inside of me. I feel like the past 2 years EVERYONE I know has announced that they are pregnant. It's hard having to answer the constant questions like, "when are you guys going to have kids?" or "how come you don't have kids yet?" or while playing or holding a friends kid, "that sure looks good on you!" Every friend of ours or acquaintance now has a kid or two, or three! I can go on and on and on about each and every emotion I have had these past two years, and I probably will share more on another post :) Mainly because I never want to forget this experience. It has been a life changing experience for not just me & Matt, but for our family.